You can synchronise using the built in Bluetooth OBEX profile -- if your phone supports syncml (and driver support OBEX).
It's not as flexible as XTNDConnect, because there's no filtering at all, all records are synchronised - this is an issue with older mobile phones with limited memory (like the T39m).
this means you don't need any extra software. nice option. i haven't tried this out, so i'm not sure how it will treat records / handle updates, all that.
in general, i think the bluetooth profiles in windows xp are better now. at least i've got the settings & shortcuts working for me now - to get connected without much fuss.
my old 3com card would reserve the com port and initiate a connection on demand. rather nice. this was all before i had the built-in bluetooth - (i used the pc card with retractable antenna). the 3com software was pretty slick. most cards don't come with any software, you just manage settings using windows.